Our 2nd Chance to Love a Second

Follow us on our adoption journey for a sibling for Jayden!


on February 3, 2016

Note: This is the first in a series of posts telling where we are headed in our adoption journey from here.

There’s something about all of this snow that has been reminding me of the last two matches that we’ve had with birth families that have not gone as we had hoped they would have.  With one of those mothers, she lived deep in the south and loved snow, but of course, never got any.  I remember texting her about our first snow coming late in the fall, promising her a few pictures when we came to visit to meet her for the first time.  That meeting never came and we can only trust that God placed us in her life at that time for a reason unknown to us.

Image credit: http://mrg.bz/edZVil

Our second match began when we were stuck at home with snow and ice while our little guy also had pneumonia and croup and strep throat all at the same time (talk about a nice trifecta, right?).  So we spent quite a bit of time snuggled up on the couch, looking out on the snow, emailing back and forth with that birth family before meeting them.  Again, that match didn’t work, and we trusted when we turned away, as hard as it was, that God had other plans.

Image credit: http://mrg.bz/fPy5lZ

Since April of last year, we haven’t had any other matches.  We’ve tried some things on our own, in addition to the agency’s efforts.  But we’ve reached a point in our journey where we’ve come to that proverbial fork in the road and are trying to discern which path to take.

We have continued to try to “advertise” for ourselves on other adoption sites and through our own Facebook and adoption pages.  However, the adoption site was getting to be too costly for the low number of hits we were getting, so we discontinued that at the beginning of December.

We explored a possible match through American Adoptions, but the additional costs would have run us over $20,000 in just over a month.  Yikes.

In the meantime, we explored the foster-to-adopt route by attending an informational session.  I also started a post-graduate program in counseling that helped to give my brain a little distance away from obsessing so much over the whole adoption thing, which has been helpful.

So we have really been spending some time praying, thinking, reflecting on where we want to go from here.  Our contract with our agency was up on February 1, so that date was looming over us for the last few months.  Basically, what that means is that the fees that we paid for advertising and to be represented by the agency had “expired.”  If we wanted to continue with them, we could pay an additional advertising fee per month and then an additional agency fee if a match occurred.  And if we don’t continue with them, then what?

More to come in our next posts, where I’ll let you in on some options, emotions, and ambiguity…

Read the next post here…



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